what if?

I've always used my environment as a mean to excuse the absence of my souring abilities.
i.e. the opportunities available for my education.
There's a kindergarten art class you may use or just one general English class to study and develop ideas of regurgitation. Are you interested?
-Of course not.
It makes me sick writing of the poor tools this community of students has to work with, not to mention alongside teachers that would rather be anywhere else in the world than here enhancing our knowledge of the world itself.
I cannot fail to mention my favorite, yet few, passionate and intellectual teachers that have impacted and still alter my concepts as I write. Thank you.
As you can tell this subject raises righteous anger in me quite easily.
BUT, what if?
what if I actually had the opportunities I've always longed for?
what if I was pushed and challenged like never before?
what if art was publicly honored and even strongly encouraged in various forms?
I'm intimidated. I'm just average. I don't have it in me. I'm tired. I'll buckle under the pressure. etc.
Maybe I should stop complaining about the opportunities available for me because in actuality if presented, fear, doubt, or my own incapability would hold me back from achieving.
I'm such a dreamer. Will I ever be a doer?
I feel so stuck in a pit of laziness that it would take an earthquake in my life to fling me out.
Do I really want out?

inspiration to my outburst: http://www.simons-rock.edu/

a waiting sun

"The sun has risen again over Iraq. Even though at times it may seem hidden, we know that its full radiance will shine on this land again."
-Ayatollah al-Sadr

Who knows the meaning of 'HOPE' more than these people?
God, please implement peace into the soil, hearts, and relations of Iraq.